3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
