chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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