Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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