I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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