I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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