and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i think my tv is drunk
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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