He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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