did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
