Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
