I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
