if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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