Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
