how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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