Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
