dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
