The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
