i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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