just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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