Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
