Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
A+ Viking dick
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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