Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
id be glad to
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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