So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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