I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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