Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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