Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
