I have demons in me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
