i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize