i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
