ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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