Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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