Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize