So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
