she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
