Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
