I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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