I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
