my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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