If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
