Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
