Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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