Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
