I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
