i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
