I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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