Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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