He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
