why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
