we're blogging at a bar
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
