i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
