I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So much rum. So many feels.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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