I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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