shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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