He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
