I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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