I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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